Understand the past, embrace the present, enjoy the future

GEOFF BOUTLE
BACP Senior Accredited Counsellor

My office provides a safe environment in a pleasant relaxed location on the outskirts of Basingstoke, with easy access and ample parking
Call - 07775725137

Counselling; A time to end and a time to begin

Blog Entries

Helping clients to deal with loss is a recurrent focus within counselling work.  The most widely recognised form of loss which may encourage clients into the counselling room is probably bereavement but loss can present in many different forms. We can suffer a painful emotional reaction when a relationship comes to an end, when employment is lost or a when a life dream slips away.

Sometimes loss and endings will merge as we mourn the finality of something which was once fundamental to our well-being.  Conversely some endings may be less dramatic and perhaps just a natural conclusion to something where as those messages on food packaging would have us believe, a ‘use by date’ has been reached.

These particular thoughts on endings are prompted not by work with clients but by something rather more prosaic such as the imminent closure of a web site.  And to be specific, this web site!  I should quickly emphasise add that this reference to endings relates just to this website.  My counselling and therapy practice is very much continuing.

This website has been hosted for many years by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) which is my accrediting body. That organisation has now decided for what are no doubt good strategic reasons to close the hosting facility.  This means that a number of therapists including myself who have websites which sit under the BACP address, are now having to find another home for the website, including a new domain name and email.

This certainly represents an ending but clearly more of a practical one rather than an emotional ending.  The loss of the site is important to me in a tactical sense but it does not impact on my emotional world.  Endings can be regarded as commonplace but will vary greatly in intensity. The very different types of ending we encounter in life is of course very significant when looking at how we process those losses.

The loss or ending can often feel overwhelming but if we can stand back and reflect (perhaps with the help of a therapist or counsellor) a sense of proportionality can help us to better manage the loss. I am very aware of the importance of being realistic whenever I talk with clients about endings and loss. 

Sometimes the ending and the resulting loss really will be dramatic and life changing.  On other occasions whilst the ending may certainly be unfortunate and disappointing there is clearly another way forward. On those occasions life will continue but something will just be different.  There are also those situations when the ending although unexpected, can have a progressive impact  in propelling us to look again at who we are and what we are doing.

In those situations the loss can be seen as an encouragement to seek something new which will eventually add to life rather than diminish it.  This is clearly the case with regard to the loss of my website. It was certainly an unexpected ending but so be it. The reality is that I now need to migrate to a new home.  In doing so I can now take the opportunity to do something different with my website.  And I can regard that as a positive outcome and one which will have some fun elements.

So soon there will be a new site with a different style. There will be a new domain address and a revised email address. That new site will be functional from sometime during April at the address www.therapyandcounselling.services.co.uk  I hope you will visit.  I am not yet sure how it will look or what features it will have but I expect that there will still be a place for this type of update or note.

In the meantime as is often the way with endings, I now have some time to reflect on what is changing.  That provides me with the opportunity to say thank you. I am certainly appreciative of the hosting work carried on for many years by members of the IT group at BACP. I am also extremely grateful to colleagues at Urban Media including Jim and Cameron who have always provided excellent support and helped to ensure that this site has remained up to date.

As this will be the last note on this site I would also like to emphasise my appreciation of those who have found time not just to read some of these comments but also to share thoughts and ideas with me.  I have enjoyed talking with you and I very much hope that we can meet again on the new site www.therapyandcounsellingservices.co.uk from sometime in April.    

 

 

 

 

 

 

By
Geoff Boutle

added on 1st March 2017

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