Counselling; A time to end and a time to begin
- Counselling; A time to end and a time to begin1st March 2017
- Counselling and the art of giving back1st February 2017
- And this year I will…..1st January 2017
- Social Anxiety, Counselling and Christmas1st December 2016
- Couple Counselling – and just when is a discussion an argument1st November 2016
- Therapy, Mobiles and the Challenge of Choice1st October 2016
- Counselling, September and an Ellison’s Orange 1st September 2016
- Counselling – A room with a view1st August 2016
- Counselling: Choices and Decisions1st July 2016
- Counselling, Musee d’Art et d’Histoire and the Inevitability of Change1st June 2016
- Counselling and the art of Ambiguity. 1st May 2016
- Repetition; Normality or Folly. A Counselling Perspective1st April 2016
- Lions, Lambs and Therapy3rd March 2016
- Valentines Day, Counselling and the Great Unknown1st February 2016
- Janus Faced? The New Year, Counselling and Psychotherapy1st January 2016
- So which road do we travel this Christmas...1st December 2015
- Counselling, Guy Fawkes and Scapegoating1st November 2015
- Counselling Work and Narrative Therapy1st October 2015
- Counselling, Therapy and the end of Summer1st September 2015
- Wheat, Rye and Counselling1st August 2015
- Counselling and a break away3rd July 2015
- Counselling and the unexpected1st June 2015
- Counselling, Elections and our opportunity to choose1st May 2015
- Therapy, an April fool and the art of lost memory1st April 2015
- A Spring Clean Therapy and Counselling1st March 2015
- Couple Counselling & Valentines Day1st February 2015
- Nothing changes if nothing changes but this year can be different!1st January 2015
- Social Anxiety Disorder A Christmas Concern1st December 2014
- SAD & those dark Winter nights1st November 2014
- Existential Counselling A useful approach or pretentious jargon?1st October 2014
- Counselling, Therapy and a return to work1st September 2014
- Holidays, Counselling and your Shadow1st August 2014
- Couple Counselling and Choice1st July 2014
- Counselling, Jules Rimet and you A therapeutic perspective1st June 2014
- Counselling and Mayday A different take on a familiar story?1st May 2014
- Useful Therapy and not an April Fool1st April 2014
- Counselling, Floods and Pandoras Box1st March 2014
- Counselling and the art of being normal1st February 2014
- The New Year and a time for change?1st January 2014
- Christmas & Counselling The first Noel1st December 2013
- Counselling, Broomsticks & Halloween1st November 2013
- Couple Counselling and just what is a successful relationship?1st October 2013
- Counselling An issue of choice?1st September 2013
- Existential Counselling From Yalom to Basingstoke1st August 2013
- Counselling and the art of reframing1st July 2013
- Counselling - Change or Conformity?1st June 2013
- May Day Counselling - Celebration or Conflagration ?1st May 2013
- Summer Time & the Counselling Room1st April 2013
- Depression a useful diagnosis or an unhelpful label?1st March 2013
- An Emotional Timeline3rd February 2013
- Resolution, Revolution & Counselling1st January 2013
- Christmas, Carols & Counselling2nd December 2012
- Seasonal Affective Disorder and the SAD Season4th November 2012
- Psychotherapy & Counselling A Stoic Perspective17th October 2012
- 10th October 2012 - World Mental Health Day5th October 2012
- A First Meeting Explanation or Exploration?5th September 2012
- CBT, Mental Filtering and the Olympics19th August 2012
- I am not an angry man 14th July 2012
- Art, Counselling & Interpretation26th June 2012
- Murder Mysteries and Psychotherapy25th May 2012
- The importance of choice in therapy29th April 2012
- Reflections on Spontaneity6th April 2012
- A personal trainer for the mind 12th March 2012
Helping clients to deal with loss is a recurrent focus within counselling work. The most widely recognised form of loss which may encourage clients into the counselling room is probably bereavement but loss can present in many different forms. We can suffer a painful emotional reaction when a relationship comes to an end, when employment is lost or a when a life dream slips away.
Sometimes loss and endings will merge as we mourn the finality of something which was once fundamental to our well-being. Conversely some endings may be less dramatic and perhaps just a natural conclusion to something where as those messages on food packaging would have us believe, a ‘use by date’ has been reached.
These particular thoughts on endings are prompted not by work with clients but by something rather more prosaic such as the imminent closure of a web site. And to be specific, this web site! I should quickly emphasise add that this reference to endings relates just to this website. My counselling and therapy practice is very much continuing.
This website has been hosted for many years by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) which is my accrediting body. That organisation has now decided for what are no doubt good strategic reasons to close the hosting facility. This means that a number of therapists including myself who have websites which sit under the BACP address, are now having to find another home for the website, including a new domain name and email.
This certainly represents an ending but clearly more of a practical one rather than an emotional ending. The loss of the site is important to me in a tactical sense but it does not impact on my emotional world. Endings can be regarded as commonplace but will vary greatly in intensity. The very different types of ending we encounter in life is of course very significant when looking at how we process those losses.
The loss or ending can often feel overwhelming but if we can stand back and reflect (perhaps with the help of a therapist or counsellor) a sense of proportionality can help us to better manage the loss. I am very aware of the importance of being realistic whenever I talk with clients about endings and loss.
Sometimes the ending and the resulting loss really will be dramatic and life changing. On other occasions whilst the ending may certainly be unfortunate and disappointing there is clearly another way forward. On those occasions life will continue but something will just be different. There are also those situations when the ending although unexpected, can have a progressive impact in propelling us to look again at who we are and what we are doing.
In those situations the loss can be seen as an encouragement to seek something new which will eventually add to life rather than diminish it. This is clearly the case with regard to the loss of my website. It was certainly an unexpected ending but so be it. The reality is that I now need to migrate to a new home. In doing so I can now take the opportunity to do something different with my website. And I can regard that as a positive outcome and one which will have some fun elements.
So soon there will be a new site with a different style. There will be a new domain address and a revised email address. That new site will be functional from sometime during April at the address www.therapyandcounselling.services.co.uk I hope you will visit. I am not yet sure how it will look or what features it will have but I expect that there will still be a place for this type of update or note.
In the meantime as is often the way with endings, I now have some time to reflect on what is changing. That provides me with the opportunity to say thank you. I am certainly appreciative of the hosting work carried on for many years by members of the IT group at BACP. I am also extremely grateful to colleagues at Urban Media including Jim and Cameron who have always provided excellent support and helped to ensure that this site has remained up to date.
As this will be the last note on this site I would also like to emphasise my appreciation of those who have found time not just to read some of these comments but also to share thoughts and ideas with me. I have enjoyed talking with you and I very much hope that we can meet again on the new site www.therapyandcounsellingservices.co.uk from sometime in April.
added on 1st March 2017
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